Proud Auntie!

I wish I were there to be with my sister-in-law, her husband, and their baby, Teagan, the last time my husband went to visit them in TO just a week ago. Here's what I missed:

"Uncle D may not like flying, but I do! WHEEEEE!!!!"

"Take that! That's for not bringing Auntie Tree with you!"

"I love Mr. Star! Thanks, Mommy and Daddy!"

"No Kids"

Recently, a few people have talked to me about their reasons for not having kids and when I tell them that I'm one of the many who decided to not have children, we begin to bond and validate each other's desire to be "child-free."

Manitoba Agriculture (don't ask) published a research report indicating that the cost of raising a child from age 0-18 is about $193,000 in Canada. This amount does not include piano lessons, private montessori schools, or hockey practice. And I thought my bills now were big.

A (child-free) friend of mine gave me an article to read in Macleans Magazine called "The Case Against Having Kids." Although, I agree with almost every reason it gave for not having kids, I found the article to be very anti-parent. I am not anti-parent; I have nothing against people who find so much joy in their children and are able to take care of them. I am upset that just because my husband and I chose not to have children that people automatically assume either that we have physical problems that prevent us from having children or that we hate kids (hence the "child-free" as opposed to "child-less"). Someone, whom I care about a lot, claimed that we were being selfish (that hurt) for not wanting to have kids and even went as far as to say something like "God created us to procreate and populate the earth and fill it with joy." What is so hard for others to comprehend that not having kids is not a bad thing?

I really thought long and hard about having or not having children. Up until two years ago, I said the complete opposite. But, now, my husband and I find life fulfilling and I don't think we would regret the choice of not having kids. Besides, we are surrounded by incredibly lovable children in our lives. My god-daughter is simply delightful and I love to hold her and love her and just watch her eat. My husband's nephew is a wonderful newborn, so full of character and spirit already. I can't wait until the next time I can be with him again and watch him make the funniest faces. I enjoy reading my friends' blog about their son tremendously. LW is the same age as my nephew and he is so adorable, even though I have never seen this little guy in person. There are several babies and kids at church who light up my heart, too. So, yes, I love kids. But, no, I do not want one of my own.

A Worthwhile Sweatshop

Ok, not really a sweatshop, but there were a lot of sweat and tears while making the T-shirts for VBS.

Last week, I directed (with co-director A. Salmon) an evening Vacation Bible School and I simply loved it. I love how the kids get so excited over things adults forget can be so exciting...like getting Bibles...or making crafts...or playing games...or having juice...or getting to wear the same T-shirts the volunteers wear. Ok, maybe not all adults like that last one.

Every year (which is only two for me) that I managed VBS, I always get at least one child who wanted to be the next VBS helper. When it is so hard to find volunteers to help at VBS, I get children who can't wait. Usually, when I ask for help, most reply, "What do I have to do?" At VBS, before I even have to ask, the kids shoot their hands up in the air and wave their arms like their life depended on the highest and fastest wave and they ask, "What do I get to do?"

And God answers prayers. When I asked for more helpers, God gave me five more people that same day. When I needed more time, God gave me an extra fifteen minutes. When I needed more T-shirts, Michaels stocked up the day after I prayed. When I needed more T-shirt transfers, God lead me to my box where I had forgotten that I brought fifteen transfers to showcase at the Volunteers' Training Session. When I needed help with crafts, God gave me a young girl who offered to help (she offered to help in three different areas, bless her heart, but I couldn't pull her in too many directions).

I hope to direct VBS again next year. I've been taking notes every day after each VBS session and I hope to make VBS even better. I'm incredibly grateful for the team that worked with me to make VBS a success.

In the end, the "sweatshop" was all worth it.

More About Teagan

D, D's dad, and I just returned home last night after visiting my sister-in-law in Toronto for one week. I used to be a pretty good traveler, but in the recent years have grown to hate riding in airplanes. On our trip back we met with some bad turbulence that lasted approximately 30 minutes. I started to whimper involuntarily and gripped the arm rests so hard, my husband and I had to pry my fingers loose later. My husband, who is not afraid of the turbulence, gets sick from them, so a half hour of bronco-riding in the sky made him a little queasy, but it's a good thing he didn't actually hurl. After we landed, we were welcomed by the news of the airline losing both of my husband's and father-in-law's luggage. Thankfully, the suitcases were eventually delivered to our house by midnight, which is pretty good because I've heard some horror stories of other people's luggage go missing and never to be seen again. Throughout the week, we've had some rough sleep (nothing compared to a new parent's sleep, however) due to construction that commenced at 7am, a fall in the bathtub, snoring symphonies, and a 3am fist fight right outside our hotel. Life is always interesting.

But, all of these little inconveniences were worth the trip. We got to see Teagan!

We went to Toronto for a variety of reasons, but the main one was to see our 11-week-old nephew, Teagan. In our short time there, we learned lots already about Teagan and discovered that he has many talents and hobbies on which he spends a lot of his time.

We've learned that he likes to sing. He practices his vocal cords quite often.


He is starting to sample a buffet. Here he is trying to scarf down a polar bear (but I'm sure he still prefers his mother's milk).


During his sleep, he exercises his jaws (for his singing later, of course)...


...performs Tai Chi in his sleep...


...and contorts his body in various positions. He calls this one the "One-Finger Grab While Almost Falling Off the Couch" position. Cirque-du-Soleil, here he comes!


Perhaps, Teagan's favourite pasttime is pondering life's mysteries.


He ponders a lot.


I mean, A LOT. And all the time. I'm worried that he's going to furrow his brows so much, he'll give himself a unibrow.


Here is one of the many times I got to hold Teagan. I never like to put him down, but I can't be selfish, especially when Grandma wants to hold him.


In this picture, Teagan is probably chuckling over the fact that he has more hair than his uncle. My husband held and played with Teagan this past week more than he has ever been with all the kids he knows in the world in his entire lifetime. I've never seen him more comfortable with a baby, but D says Teagan is different.


Teagan is a cutie-patootie and I can't wait to see him again.

My Nephew!!!!!!!

Hey there, good-looking! My name is Teagan and I’m Tree’s nephew-in-law.

When I first came into this world, I was like, “Huh? This world isn’t much to look at.”

Then I realized that I was a bit more unique than some others…

…kind of like Wolverine. Well, not quite.

When I finally opened my eyes...

…and took a look-see…

…I didn’t like what I saw.

Good thing, then, that my mommy is nearby. I’m so overjoyed that I can hardly contain my laugh. Tee hee!

She reads to me to keep me educated.

She adores me and I adore her.

My daddy cuddles me everywhere…

…even when we’re sleeping.

Last, but not least, I have a sidekick who doubles as a best friend! How cool is that?

Marshi likes to just hang out with me.

Sometimes, we have sleep-overs.

Most of the time, we just chill out.

Speaking of chilling out, I’m going to check out to Dreamland. Later, gator!

Body of Christ

Last Friday, I developed a soft blister on my right middle finger from sharpening pencils with an old-school manual pencil sharpener. On Saturday, as I mopped the laminate floor in my house, my blister peeled and I was left with a large pink sore on my finger. It's Tuesday now and my blister had only just begun to heal. Between last Friday and today, however, I was surprised at how often I use that part of my finger and tiny sharp pain shoots up to my brain to remind me that I have to be careful. I've been treating that sore quite gingerly and making sure that I didn't use that finger too often. I even put a bandage over it, but it still felt tender.

Somehow, this experience reminded me that in the Body of Christ, no one should be taken for granted as every part has an important role to play and if there was a defect somewhere, it would surely be noticed.

Romans 12:4-6 (New International Version)

⁴Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, ⁵so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others.

This reminder couldn't have come at a better time. Tomorrow, I will attempt my skills at restorative action/restorative justice for my first formal mediation. As a teacher, I have used such skills many times, but I'm a little nervous tomorrow because my relationship with the two teens involved is still new. There was a verbal altercation between two individuals at youth group last week and one of the other youth group leaders and I dealt with it immediately. Tomorrow, the two teens agreed to meet at church at 6:30pm, so that we could talk it out. I asked my two RA/RJ mentors to give me a few beginners' tips and they knew I have been studying my notes on mediation. Even though I have a piece of paper to say I'm a certified RA/RJ expert, I'm still nervous. I feel there's more on the line here because if the meeting doesn't go well for either teen, then someone will not be returning to youth group. I do not want this to cause anyone to reject God. I realize, as I prayed for these two individuals this past weekend, how valuable they are to the group. They both have a quirky side and both have great opinions to share. I hope tomorrow's meeting will go smoothly.

I appreciate any prayers you may offer for these two teens and for me.

Dear God, I know you are in control and the outcome is in your hands. May your Holy Spirit give me words to speak and give words to the teens, as well, so that they can honestly express how they feel to each other. Please stop my knees from shaking. In the name of your son, Jesus Christ, AMEN.

Magic Number 32

Me: I once had someone tell me my fortune. I didn't want her to, but she was a relative and before I realized what she was doing, she gave me good news and bad news from reading my palm.
Friend: What was the good news?
Me: That I would live a good life.
Friend: What was the bad news?
Me: That my life would end at age 32.
Friend: Is that why you don't want to have kids?

Huh. It was very difficult to actually hear a deep-seated fear voiced out loud. I had given several reasons in a previous post why I don't want to have kids; I still stand by all my reasons. But, this latest reason was one that I did not tell anyone, not even to my husband. Mainly because I don't believe in fortune-telling, but it's kind of hard to ignore when someone tells you that you are going to die sooner than later. I can only hope that my aunt is wrong.

In approximately, two more years I will find out if my aunt is right.

Melody Anne's Big Day

The baptism was held at Emmaus Lutheran Church in Burnaby on November 9, 2008. It was my first Finnish service. The ceremony was beautiful for obvious reasons, but I liked how intimate the setting was. After the baptism, the minister held the baby and carried her up and down the aisle so that everyone could bless her...or just look at her cute face.

Our little angel!!!!!!!!

I was laughing because Melody Anne loves her baths and when the minister ever so gently poured water over her head, Melody Anne was enjoying every second of it! She had such a look of bliss on her face. Too bad we weren't allowed cameras up there.

The proud parents! Look at how she looked up at her daddy! She just adores them.

The proud godparents! Melody Anne was so good throughout the service after her presentation. Didn't cry at all. Must've been the bath...I mean, baptism. :)

"Whoa! Wow!"

Ever remember getting this excited and frightened at the same time?

My Next Door Kid

I have grown to love the little tyke that lives next door. P is an energetic, independent, and fun-loving little guy whom I've had the pleasure of babysitting almost all of last week.Every day we watched children's programs on Treehouse (some of those shows are really, really strange, but I guess kids love them), ate Freezies, played with toy cars, toy trucks, and toy trains, ran away and hid from monsters, listened to the alphabet song sung in rap style, and conquered the world!

Among some of those adventures, P:experimented with brushing his teeth all by himself,

explored the "forest," and

caught up on some reading (no, he's really not reading, but it was awfully cute to see him go through the motions).

P and I often went for walks and on one of those walks one day we ventured out to the big street where he gladly waved to all the drivers in dump trucks. All the drivers actually saw P wave at them and they would either wave back or honk those loud horns. P loves those trucks and has a deep respect for them, especially when they are at work; he'll go near the empty stationary excavators (he calls them diggers) and backhoe loaders that are left by the workers after work, but he'll watch from a very safe distance when they are moving. We saw lots of trucks that day and our neighbourhood is the best place for them because of all the new developments happening around our area.

As the baby-sitter, I got a chance at motherhood for four short days. A few people who knew I was babysitting P last week asked if this encouraged me to become a mother. My answer: no. Actually, babysitting affirmed my decision not to have kids. Please don't read that wrong because P was an absolute delight to be with. What babysitting has done was once again remind me of all the hard work mothers and fathers put in for their kids each day. P was being a typical 2.5-year-old child and making 2.5-year-old messes and demands. Nothing wrong there, but I just don't want to deal with those messes and demands right now. Little things get to me that prove to me that I'm not ready to be a mom.

For example, I gave P some hard-boiled eggs to eat and he enjoyed eating them with his hands and kind of mushing up the egg yolks. I watched as the yolks crumble onto the carpet and before I knew it, he ran to me and slammed his yolk-encrusted hands onto my shirt, not to mention knocking the wind out of me in the process. He didn't do it to be mean, but he did it because he was just being a happy little kid, I think. I didn't get angry with him; instead I laughed because I knew that's what 2-year-olds do. Nevertheless, before his mom got home, I made sure that we vacuumed the place and tidied up everything that we messed up together each day.

I don't think I could do that every day. I'm too anal-retentive about some things and that wouldn't be fair to my kid. When I learn to let some things go, then that's when I'll know I'm ready to be a parent. Until then, I will enjoy being with kids as a teacher, godparent, church leader, and friendly neighbour.

My God-Daughter

July 29, 2008
10:32pm
4kg (9lbs)

Melody Anne Elizabeth
"musical, gracious, an oath of God"

[Jesus] called a little child and had him stand among them. And he said, "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven."
~~ Matthew 18:2-4