Phone Fear

I used to be an awesome receptionist, even if I do say so myself. I wasn't perfect, but my work evaluation certainly made it seem so. I was well-liked by my boss, had a few callers who became my "fans" (which I did have to ask some of my guitar department buddies to help me fend off when they came to visit the voice they always called to hear), and my co-workers often appreciated the work that I did that made their jobs easier. I memorized over eighty phone extensions and was able to manage multiple incoming calls quickly, sometimes switching languages (up to three, or four, if you count interpreting thick Southern American accents) to accommodate our customers' needs.

With that said, I hate talking on phones. I much prefer communicating with people by e-mail or a Facebook message.

There are three reasons for this:

1) I am a FOB. I don't really have an accent, unless you count my "ol" problem as attributing to an accent. However, my written grammar is far better than my verbal grammar. Sometimes, I catch myself talking like Yoda, so I am very self-conscious when it comes to public speaking, even with close friends. How, then, can I be a teacher? I don't feel as judged by my students as I do with peers. Just my feeling. I could be wrong. Or maybe not.

2) I am a visual learner. I'm one of those people who remember details and the punchline, but because I am like Yoda, the punchline comes before the details. I need to have something before my eyes or else I forget what to say or what is being said. That's why, when D and I were dating, for example, I had to write down things I wanted to say to him because I didn't want the phone conversation to fall into an awkward silence and ruin my chances of being with him. I was like a telemarketer with scripts that prompted me on what to say after each potential answer. Don't laugh...I'm married now!

3) I'm not good at small talk. I think sometimes I almost sound rude because when I approach people to talk, I just go straight to the point. Sometimes, I might politely ask, "Hi, how are you?" Wait for the response. Then, depending on their answer, continue with the topic. Most of the time, I just say, "Hi, ____. So, I was wondering when I can get those reports?" or "...have you checked my e-mail?" or "...did that parent speak with you yet?" I also don't know how to say goodbye. I always seem to add some lame "last word" in an attempt to make the receiver of the conversation laugh before we end off. This applies to face-to-face conversation, as well.

God's got plans about my phone fear. Recently, my care group has started a challenge where we all pick one thing that we would work on and each of us would be held accountable to our own challenge by another care group member. We drew names out of a hat and then we would connect with that person to ensure that the challenges are being met on a regular basis. I picked a person who doesn't use FB, doesn't really use e-mail either, and doesn't talk much. Sounds like my husband, but that's not the case, which would be so much easier to handle. So, I have to talk to this friend on the phone. He said I can text him, but I think God wants me to be stretched outside of my comfort zone and just pick up the phone and call. But, I can imagine what the phone calls would be like:

"Hey, how are you?"
"Good, thanks. And you?"
"Good, thanks. So, how's your Bible reading coming along?"
"Good."
"Good. You're not listening to the audio version, are you? (awkward chuckles)
"No, I'm not."
"Oh, ok. Have a good day!" (click)