Inappropriate Language

The topic of swearing has cropped up quite a bit in my life in the last three days. Personally, I don't like to hear people swear and I've told my students before that swearing are for people who haven't expanded their vocabulary enough to know how to express their frustration in a more positive fashion. That's my roundabout way of saying, "Please don't swear."

I might forgive swearing in situations where the person was very angry or hammered his thumb into the wall or attempted to make a BBQ grill that doesn't quite look the way it does in the catalogue. The other exception I make is for movies that have a good storyline. Crash is one example. Excessive swearing in some movies, like in Knocked Up, gets distracting, but sometimes, I let that go, too.

Yesterday, I had a conversation with my friends about what's appropriate to say and what's not. To me, I lump "That's gay" with forbidden four-letter words. After I mentioned this, one of my friends chuckled and admitted that he uses that phrase. I told him that I actually would stop a lesson to discuss why that phrase is offensive, but I wouldn't do so for a friend. In fact, I have a number of friends who swear casually. I let those go, too. My friends know very well that they should not use the Lord's Name in vain in my presence, but I haven't gone as far as to tell an acquaintance to stop saying, "Oh, my God!" for little things like seeing a really nice pair of shoes in the flyer; I had a co-worker who was brave enough to. One of my students muttered, "Holy crap" and I told him quite sternly that poo can never be holy. Some students who were nearby giggled and immediately, that student apologized.

Recently, one of my students has been caught saying some extremely inappropriate things, but one of the things he said was a word he didn't even know the meaning of until a teacher told him. The other kids kept making him say it and when he saw how they howled with laughter, he kept saying it. See, in his world, laughter means good and he loves to make people happy. Bluntly, I told him, "When other kids make you say the same thing over and over again and they laugh after each time you say it, it doesn't mean they like you. They are laughing at you." I'm not sure if I could have taught him differently or if what I said even filtered through to him. But, I felt I had to be frank with him today because on Monday he swore over something that was shocking to him and he didn't want to calm down; for the first time since I started working with him, he refused my suggestions to use alternate actions and words when expressing something in public. I will have to try a different approach.

So, swearing bothers me in some context and not so much in others. Am I being wishy-washy? Is there an ok time for people to swear? How did a term for female dog or donkey become used to curse? Who first used the f-bomb? How did curse language evolve over the years and over continents?