Being Sick Bites

I'm pretty frustrated at how slowly I am recovering. The last time I was very, very sick, I was working at Eddie Bauer ('98-'99) and my managers sent me home near the beginning of my shift. Then I got home and fell into bed and didn't get out until at least two weeks later. I was bed-ridden and couldn't hold down any food. I probably lost close to ten pounds that time and I was already under 100 lbs. then (oh, gone are the days of size 0 waistlines). I think that illness took me out for a month.

This time, my illness is sickeningly (ha ha) frustrating because I don't feel sick enough to stay in bed, but I'm too sick to do too much. I have trouble breathing, which makes any strenuous activity unfeasible in my condition. I still have to build one more bookshelf and take down the Christmas decorations, which if I don't do it soon, I might as well leave them up until July and earn the award for tackiest house on the block. I need to vacuum and clean the washrooms; D had to finish doing the laundry that I started last Saturday.

Every day I exhibit different symptoms. Last night I was hacking my lungs out and my voice was too hoarse to talk to my parents on the phone. The day before I was dizzy and light-headed. Throughout it all, my nose runs like a faucet; D went out to buy me Puffs Plus tissue and I used up a box in one day.

I haven't been to a doctor's because I don't have one and I don't really like walk-in clinics. I don't mind them, but I hope to start seeing a consistent physician, preferably female, and female doctors are really hard to find. The ones I know about aren't taking any more new patients. I'll just have to call around and hope to find one soon. Besides, I'm at the point in my illness that I think I know what the doctor will recommend, which I'm already doing -- drinking lots, taking Vitamin C, taking over-the-counter medicine for my symptoms, and resting. It's a virus -- what more can I do except let it run its course? (Dr. F.C., you can correct me on this!)

D has been a superb husband, looking after me and sacrificing his holiday time to stay at home with me. I feel really badly that I used up his vacation time in a nonconstructive way. I really wanted my sister to be with me, too. She has a take-charge way with making me feel comfortable and cheering me up when I don't feel well. I miss her terribly at a time like this.

Everybody has a different way of handling one's own time of sickness. I prefer having someone close by in case I need something, but I don't like having someone right beside me all the time. Like if I was puking, I don't want someone holding my hair and rubbing my back, which embarrasses me that this person has to witness my time of glory, but I don't mind it if that someone was in another room nearby; just knowing that I'm not alone in my sickness helps me get through this.